Chapter 127: Flustered and Disorganized

Lie Changan froze on his bed as he heard the knocking at his door. He had just emerged from a heart-pounding, crimson-hued dream, a dream still filled with her—so enchanting and alluring, entwined with him in an intimate, passionate embrace.

Waking from the dream, his body felt scorched with heat, his breath coming in ragged gasps, his heart racing. He had risen to light a lamp and pour a glass of water, hoping to cool down, but as the stillness settled, the vivid, feverish images from his dream only grew clearer in his mind. Sleep had become impossible.

In truth, he had not slept well for days. The mere thought of her made his heart ache with a dull, persistent pain. Exhausted, he had retired early tonight, yet his mind remained occupied by her. Coupled with the recent "ambiguous encounters" they had shared, he had found himself unable to control the dreams that now centered solely on her, spiraling into an uncontrollable fervor.

Lying back down, sleepless, he let the dim lamplight bathe him as he thought of her once more. His physical discomfort grew, his breathing became more labored, and cold sweat beaded on his forehead.

He wanted her.

He wanted her until he felt he was going mad, until every fiber of his being felt as though it might shatter. Lie Changan felt wretched. He knew he should not harbor such delusional fantasies, knew he was unworthy, yet he could not stop himself from longing for her night after night, harboring these base, impure thoughts. He loathed himself for it, yet in this one regard, he was utterly powerless.

Perhaps she had always been his undoing.

Outside, Guli waited, confused by the lack of response. Had he already fallen asleep? But the lamp was still lit, and she could clearly hear the sound of his ragged breathing; it did not sound like someone who was asleep.

Unable to help herself, she knocked again, calling out softly, "Lie Changan? Lie Changan? Are you asleep?"

It was the very thing he feared most. Hearing her voice, the hot sweat on Lie Changan’s brow turned cold. His body stiffened, and his movements came to a sudden, jarring halt as he scrambled to pull on his clothes. He had never felt so nervous—an overwhelming cocktail of guilt, trepidation, fear, and shame filled his heart to the brim.

"Lie Changan, what’s wrong? Open the door."

Hearing the frantic commotion from within, Guli grew even more anxious and concerned.

"Coming, I’m coming."

Lie Changan had never realized how much power she held over him. Even fully dressed, the ache in his lower body remained agonizing, and at the mere sound of her voice, it seemed to intensify with a ferocious, uncontrollable surge.

He could not afford to dwell on it any longer. It was freezing outside, and she had come all this way so late at night; he dared not keep her waiting. Hastily adjusting his robes, he tucked the fabric to hide his condition, and satisfied that nothing was amiss, he rushed to open the door.

Guli stood outside, her small face flushed red from the cold. She wrapped her cloak tightly around herself and stepped inside, momentarily forgetting their recent "bitter parting," concerned only for his well-being.

"Why haven't you rested yet? What were you doing so late? Are you feeling unwell?"

Yes, he was indeed unwell. But how could Lie Changan tell her the nature of his discomfort? He hurriedly shook his head. "No, it’s nothing. The coal fire is too strong and the bedding is thick; I was just too hot, so I got up to have a drink of water."

In his dazed state, Lie Changan even forgot to address himself with the customary humble pronouns. Guli did not notice; she remarked on the heat, and indeed, the room was stiflingly warm—warmer even than her own main hall, perhaps because the space was smaller.