Chapter Twenty-Six: Chen Hao’s “Wife”

Chen Hao and his companion trained in the southern part of the city for four hours. The pale demon reached level 6, but Chen Hao was still quite far from level 8. By now, in-game time had moved to the afternoon of January 3rd, and Chen Hao had been in the internet café for nearly ten hours.

As his satiety dropped to 70, Chen Hao said to the pale demon, “Let’s call it a day and continue tomorrow.”

The pale demon replied, “Chen, weren’t we supposed to reach level 10 before anyone else? Why don’t we pull an all-nighter and keep leveling?”

Chen Hao shook his head and said, “Even characters in the game need to sleep. Didn’t you notice your focus slipping and your archery accuracy dropping?”

The pale demon suddenly understood. “No wonder I couldn’t concentrate! I thought I was just getting sleepy. So there’s a sleep mechanic. Chen, out here in the middle of nowhere, where are we two men supposed to sleep?”

Chen Hao shuddered. “Don’t make it sound so disgusting. What do you mean by ‘two men sleeping together’? You sleep in your bed, I’ll sleep in mine. I’ve rented a house in Penglai County.”

Back in Penglai County, Chen Hao sent the pale demon to the restaurant to buy enough food for three, while he went to purchase bedding and other necessities. Upon returning to the small courtyard, Chen Hao took the west wing, and the pale demon settled next door. There were four rooms in the courtyard. With Wang Wu and his two companions each occupying one, the remaining room was used for storage.

Given his limited funds, Chen Hao couldn’t afford to hire guards, and though the empty room was locked, he didn’t dare store anything valuable there. He left the saber in Wang Wu’s room, carried the goose-feather blade and his money on his person, and left only some looted iron rods in the storage room, intending to sell them at the market when he had time.

Chen Hao guided his character to lie down in the bedroom and chose to log out. Only then did he realize it was already 3 a.m. in the real world. He took off his gaming helmet, and noticed a flashing avatar in the lower right corner of his virtual computer—someone had sent him a message on QQ.

Opening the QQ main panel, he saw the sender’s avatar: a girl blowing smoke rings, the image blurred so it was impossible to tell if it was a real photo. Chen Hao’s note for this online friend was “Wife.” As a guy whose only cohabitation experience was with his right hand, he obviously didn’t have a wife; he had changed the note at her request. In the two years Chen Hao had played the fantasy game “Celestial Hound Devours the Sun,” this woman had been his in-game wife.

Virtual computers didn’t need a mouse. With a thought, Chen Hao opened the QQ reply interface. “I’m not some fake pretentious bitch, I’m a good girl with a foul mouth.” Reading her QQ status, Chen Hao couldn’t help but shudder and replied, “Can’t you have a normal signature?”

The girl quickly sent an angry emoji and a blood-stained kitchen knife, then wrote, “I’ve been messaging you forever and you didn’t reply. Be honest—where did you run off to flirt with other girls?”

“How could I be off flirting?” Chen Hao sent a pitiful face. “It’s always girls flirting with me, but I’ve remained faithful to you and turned them all down.”

“Yeah right, like you’re so pure! You’re already getting on in years and still a virgin. I can’t believe you’d say that.” She sent a contemptuous emoji.

Chen Hao felt like banging his head against the wall. He’d just been joking, but his claim of purity had been met with scorn for his virginity. Every homebody has a secret wild side—Chen Hao was shy in person, but online he was a smooth talker. After being mocked, he quickly lied, “A virgin? Back in school, I was a heartthrob—broken more hearts than you have hairs on your head. Of course I’m not a virgin.”

“Please. After two years of gaming together, you think I don’t know you? What kind of gamer who spends all day online has a girlfriend? I bet you’re more popular with adult video actresses. Sigh, a homebody glued to his computer every day—hopeless.” She sent another contemptuous emoji.

“My pride is wounded,” Chen Hao thought bitterly, but he stubbornly replied, “Like I’d tell you every time I go to a hotel with a girl? I’ll have you know, I’m an expert with a hundred and eight moves. Don’t believe me? Come try for yourself.”

“Try? Sure, name the time and place. I’ll hook up with you. I’ve been divorced a year and I’m lonely.” She was even bolder than Chen Hao.

Back when they met in “Celestial Hound Devours the Sun,” Chen Hao had thought she was a typical non-mainstream girl, probably quite young. After they became in-game spouses, she had sworn she was a mature woman, married for a few months and now divorced, feeling empty and lonely.

Although Chen Hao sometimes envied his friends who arranged hookups on QQ, he could never cross that line himself. So even though his in-game wife often teased him and they lived in the same city, he never considered taking their relationship beyond friendship, let alone anything purely physical.

Every time their chat veered toward meeting in person, Chen Hao would panic. This time was no different. After her message, Chen Hao replied, “Forget it! Like your signature says, girls who talk tough are usually all talk and actually very self-controlled. You strike me as the type—mouth of a rogue, heart of a prude.”

“Same to you,” the girl replied. “Then let’s not hook up. How about just meeting up and being friends?”

“What for? Whatever you want to do, I’m not interested. Whatever I want to do, you wouldn’t dare. Better to keep the fantasy alive.” Chen Hao sent a suggestive emoji.

“Ha! You’re the type who’s all talk and no action. Are you ugly or something? Relax, I don’t judge by looks. Handsome guys are hard to keep, but if I sleep with an ugly guy, I’ll just turn off the lights.” She sent another contemptuous emoji.

Chen Hao replied with a smug face, “Here’s a secret: I’m not that handsome, but my classmates always said I had idol potential…”

“Yeah right, you’re talking big. Prove it—show me a photo.” She sent another mocking emoji.

“A photo? No problem! But you’ve never shown me yours, have you? Ladies first.”

She paused, then replied, “Fine! Since you’re so eager to admire my beauty, go check my profile pictures.”

“When your photo’s on a memorial tablet, I’ll come pay my respects.” Chen Hao quipped as he entered her profile space.

“Sexy but not slutty, charming but not demonic.” Seeing the title of her page, Chen Hao rolled his eyes—she was a grown woman, but still obsessed with these non-mainstream slogans. He opened her album, and was greeted by the image of a glamorous, alluring, fashionably dressed, and strikingly sexy young woman.