Part Six: Awareness

Outside the window, the snow was falling sparsely. The small courtyard of the Taoist temple, once empty, had been adorned with a few red plum trees, now in full bloom. Wisps of smoke from the foot of the mountain curled into the air, signaling to the households above that a new day had quietly begun.

Liu Junlin awoke at dawn, as the sky was just turning pale. After tucking the blanket more securely around Liu Zhanyan, he rose and made his way to the kitchen.

He busied himself for a while, and before he realized it, daylight had fully arrived. Liu Junlin filled a basin with hot water and returned to the bedroom, ready to wake Liu Zhanyan. While he could overlook the habits of others in the temple, his senior brother was frail. If he slept until noon, it would surely do him more harm than good. With this in mind, Liu Junlin hesitated no longer.

The person on the bed was still sound asleep. Liu Junlin set the basin of hot water aside and sat down at the bedside. To be honest, he had known since their first night sharing a bed that his senior brother did not sleep quietly. Yet, the more he watched these unguarded moments, the more endearing and genuine his senior brother appeared to him. His own heartbeat would unconsciously quicken.

Liu Zhanyan slept on, utterly undisturbed by the world outside. Who knew what pleasant dream he was having, as the corners of his lips curved upward. Liu Junlin was instantly entranced, his ears tinged red, and inwardly he feared he was truly bewitched.

Liu Junlin gave a bitter smile. He knew he was doing what he shouldn’t, and when his senior brother found out, he would surely be blamed.

From a distance, Liu Junlin traced the contours of Liu Zhanyan’s face with his hand—the eyebrows, the eyes, the nose... Everything about this man, Liu Junlin suddenly thought, should belong to him alone.

Second Master once said that this was the age when one was most easily blinded by emotion. Luckily, he was of a serene disposition and not enthusiastic about affairs of the heart. Little did he know, the one he loved was not some fair maiden, but his own senior brother—his good senior brother...

When had he first realized it? Liu Junlin himself could not say. He only knew that, when he finally came to his senses, his mind was filled with every joy and anger, every glance and smile of his senior brother. What was his senior brother’s favorite food? Which color did he love most? Which clothes felt most comfortable to him? All such matters, Liu Junlin knew better even than his senior brother did.

After realizing his feelings, there was joy—he was grateful that the one he liked was so good. He wished to spend his life with such a person. Yet, gradually, that joy turned to sorrow and unending bitterness. He knew all too well that his affection was doomed from the start. He could disregard the opinions of others, but what he feared most was the look of undisguised disgust in his senior brother’s eyes, should he ever find out.

Reluctantly, Liu Junlin withdrew his hand, and leaning close, whispered softly in Liu Zhanyan’s ear, “Senior brother, it’s time to get up.”

There was no response for a long while. Liu Junlin, smiling, blew a breath of warm air against Liu Zhanyan’s neck. Liu Zhanyan’s body shivered, and his eyes flew open. He blinked a few times in confusion before his expression turned impatient. “Get lost.”

Liu Junlin was stunned, then laughed. “Senior brother, it’s time to get up. I brought back many of your favorite pastries and books from Second Master. If you don’t get up soon, you may not get to enjoy them today, and the pastries might lose their flavor...”

Before Liu Junlin could finish, Liu Zhanyan sat up with a dark expression. Liu Junlin quickly handed over a wet silk cloth, and Liu Zhanyan washed his face, finally coming fully awake. Once Liu Zhanyan was dressed, Liu Junlin took up the comb on the table and helped tie his hair.

When Liu Zhanyan was ready, Liu Junlin urged him toward the main hall.

In the hall, those who had been nowhere to be seen moments ago were now gathered around the breakfast table. Xiangzi, seeing Liu Junlin arrive, hurriedly apologized, “Sorry, Your Highness, I overslept again.”

Liu Junlin replied, “No matter, sit and eat.”

Upon hearing this, Xiangzi’s embarrassment vanished as if it had never been. He immediately sat down, grabbed a bowl, and shouted, “Leave some for me! Make sure you save me some!”

Tieqing and Qingyu continued to eat, heads down, ignoring his protests. For a moment, Liu Junlin felt as if he were watching two wild beasts at a meal. He felt rather glad he had set aside extra portions.

Liu Junlin served rice for Liu Zhanyan and laid out the dishes before starting on his own meal. Tieqing, observing this, grew increasingly puzzled. Though he had seen it before, something still felt off.

He nudged Qingyu with his chopsticks and whispered, “Have your two disciples always been this close?”

Qingyu shot him a cold glance. “And don’t you have a hand in that? Shut up and eat.”

Tieqing scratched his nose in embarrassment and said no more.

That winter, with Liu Junlin home, he spent his days by Liu Zhanyan’s side, leaving Tieqing to enjoy a rare leisure, as if on holiday.

After breakfast, everyone dispersed. Liu Junlin and Liu Zhanyan retreated to the study, where Liu Junlin brought out the carefully prepared pastries and set the books on the side table.

Liu Zhanyan read quietly as he ate pastries. The room was peaceful. Seeing how absorbed he was, Liu Junlin picked up a book to cover his face and watched Liu Zhanyan in silence.

Liu Junlin held the book aloft for a long time, simply watching, never feeling tired.

After finishing a few books, Liu Zhanyan’s eyes grew sore. Eventually, he could not resist propping his chin on his hand and drifting into a doze. The sight made Liu Junlin’s heart itch with longing.

With a soft chuckle, he put down his book—only then realizing he had been holding it upside down the whole time. Helpless, he stepped forward, gently lifted Liu Zhanyan, and placed him on a newly replaced lounge chair, covering him carefully with a blanket.

Liu Zhanyan slept soundly, perhaps dreaming of some delicious treat, for he licked his lips with the tip of his tongue. Seeing this, Liu Junlin’s gaze darkened, as if bewitched. When he regained his senses, he was stunned by the sweetness and softness on his lips. He couldn’t help but gently nuzzle, and even such a fleeting touch made his heart pound as if it would burst.

Startled, Liu Junlin jerked his head up and clapped a hand over his mouth, his face burning hot. Ah, truly...

He drank several cups of cold tea before finally calming down. Glancing at the door, which had been left slightly ajar, he suddenly sneered, stood, and closed it tightly. Sitting down again, he continued to stare at the door in deep thought.

After breakfast, having washed the dishes and tidied up, Xiangzi thought to bring a pot of hot tea to Liu Junlin and Liu Zhanyan in the study. He had once harbored misgivings about Liu Zhanyan, but after the recent incident, if he still clung to those doubts, he must truly be blind.

Someone who treated His Highness with such genuine care—he wanted to repay that, even if only with small, humble acts.

With that in mind, Xiangzi brewed the tea and headed to the study. Finding it quiet outside, not wanting to disturb the two masters while they read, he quietly pushed the door open a crack and peeked inside. His eyes widened in shock as he struggled not to cry out. Never had he imagined that His Highness could harbor such feelings for his senior brother.

Panic-stricken, Xiangzi forgot all about delivering the tea. All he wanted was to leave as quickly as possible before His Highness could notice him.